Registration

I had to register for classes early this morning. Like 12 am early.
I got in to all of the classes I wanted which is really lucky.
I had a mini heart attack when the server went down though. I think everyone did.
I've been so stressed out.
I have a paper due Monday, a speech to begin writing, and a project for math due next Friday.
I do not even know when the speech is even due yet. I just hope I don't have to give it on Tuesday. It's so terrible how stressful life has been lately. I'm ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas break.

Worries

I am so worried right now.
Worried about my friend.
Worried about school work.

I have so much work to do. I have a paper to really finish and edit. I need to do math homework. I have to make sure to do three hours a week of observation which I love because I am an education major. I'm also beginning to get worried about finals. I'm going to need to study so hard and write a lot. I need to start planning out times to do things and times that I can actually take a break because as we all know, breaks are important. I am so stressed out just thinking about everything.

What do I do?

My best friend's mom passed away last night.
I'm five hours away.
I can't do anything.
I can't even come home this weekend.
I have so much work to do for school but I'm so concerned about my friend.
She told me that she is okay but I'm still worried.
I remember how much she loved her mom. There were many times when they had problems but she still loved her.
I'm just really worried and stressed.

What should I do?

What can I do?

Maybe I’m over thinking it.

Maybe I’m not doing enough.

I really don’t know what I should do.

Seven years ago

Seven years ago I was 12 and my sister was 19.

Seven years ago my sister was a freshman in college.

Seven years ago my favorite person in the world got in to a horrible accident.

My sister got in to an accident with three of her friends. They were drinking. All four of them could have been killed.

Nothing has scared me more than when my parents told me that my big sister was in a car accident.

I pretty much vowed to myself not to even drink until I was 21. I've stuck with that. Unlike many people. I'm scared of bad judgments that I could make. I'm not saying that drinking is entirely bad. I know it's not. I'm just saying that I'm personally scared of it altogether.

Maryville Missouri

Some interesting and terrible things have been happening in the town that is my home away from home for the next four years.

The story is long but I am just going to give a very short summary.

A girl named Daisy was 14 when she was raped by a junior in high school. He left her unconscious body in her front yard. She was then made fun of and humiliated and essentially forced to leave town.

Now this happened years ago but the group Anonymous found out and are very serious about it.

Now my opinion because I am a hardcore feminist is that this is awesome. Something like this needs to not fly under the radar. It's a huge deal. People need to know about this.

By Tuesday there are supposed to be around 50 or more news outlets in town and Anonymous will be here for a demonstration.

Interesting things are happening here indeed.

Family

I’m so ready for homecoming.

Not because of the game, not because of the activities, and not even because of walk out day.

The reason I’m excited is because I get to see my family. I’m going home and I get to see my parents, my sister, my best friends. Maybe for only one day but I still get to see them.

I can’t wait. I don’t even know how to express my feelings about it. I’m just so excited.

Don’t tell anyone but I’m mostly excited about seeing the cats.

If I didn't have a boyfriend I would definitely be a cat lady…

Confidence

Confidence is key.
People say that all the time.
I have barely any confidence because I just have bad self esteem.
Sometimes I would be made fun of for my weight or people would just pick on me for the fun of it.
They thought it was funny when I got mad or upset from something they said or did.
One thing I've noticed about Northwest is that I'm the only one who has criticized me.
No one but me.
Everyone is either nice or just doesn't pay attention to me which honestly most of the time I would like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I have bad self esteem and people here are nice.

One Long Week

This week has been so long.
I can't even begin to count how many times I've just wanted to fall asleep.
I keep doubting myself about everything I do.
It also rained today and I had to buy a hoodie at the school store.
Those things are expensive....It was $30 and that was ten dollars off. Maybe I'm just cheap oops. Cheap college student......nah that's normal.
It's also supposed to rain tomorrow. Possibly storm. Like tornado producing storm kind of storm.
But the drama that comes from a tornado or a strong storm makes me weirdly extremely excited.
I'm also so scared of tornadoes. So it's rather weird I guess.
I don't think I make sense much at all....oops

Family Weekend

This weekend was family weekend at my school.

My sister Jeanette and my best friend Chancey came to visit me. I was so happy to see them. I got to spend time with two of my very best friends.

I took a picture of Chancey in the library just because I felt like it honestly. Jeanette was hell bent on getting a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks.

They stayed in Dietrich because it's being remodeled later this year. Chancey and I were acting as we normally do. Really odd and slightly mean yet mostly just sarcastic and joking....We were sitting on the desks with the windows open and we were just people watching.

After the football game on Saturday, Kyle took us to his dorm...err well we drove him but it was because I wanted Chancey to see the nice dorms too. We saw Bobby the Bearcat in the hall and of course Chancey and Kyle had to get a picture with him. That's just the way they are. 

After that we went to Red Lobster and met up with Kyle's mom, sister, brother, and sister in law. Chancey was driving there and she probably shouldn't have taken a picture but ya know. 

When we got there we had to wait for like an hour but then we got to the table. Now Kyle's little sister Hayley is normally extremely shy when she is around new people but Chancey gets along with literally every kid every where. Hayley and her were acting like best friends. It was pretty much awesome because well Chancey is my best friend but she's practically my sister. We've been friends since we were like two and three. Her getting along with Kyle's family is very important and they did get along awesomely. 

You could say this weekend was one of the best weekends of college I've had so far. 

Most Popular Girls in School

Has anyone ever seen the youtube series The Most Popular Girls In School?

If you haven't this is the first episode. 

I love that so much. It’s so hilarious. The best thing right now is that I live near there. I live near Overland Park when I’m at school…and I just happen to be someone who watches local news stations. Every single time they say Overland Park I die. Not even kidding.

I get really excited when I have seen or am near a place that’s in a show, book, or movie. I also get really excited about names and dates and things. Like if a book says September 13^th I will probably squeal. Out loud. You think I’m joking.

I think I’ll leave this post on that note. 

Confused

The selling of human organs is the topic for my next essay in my comp I class. I don’t even know what to say about this. I don’t really even have much of a stance on this subject. I’m pretty scared to be honest. I don’t think I’ll be able to write a paper that is good enough.

I guess I do have some kind of stance. It’s bad in some ways but it’s good in others. The first thing I’m thinking of is honestly I have no idea what selling organs is completely about. The fact that I’m uneducated isn't a good thing for having a stance.

I’m so hazy on this entire subject. If it’s good why is it illegal? But then again there is an unbelievable amount of good things that are illegal.

I’m just not sure.             

I'm a Cat Lady

Okay well I guess I'm not really because I don't have 20 cats and I'm not single. But I cried last night because I missed my cats.......

That is kind of bad....at least I think.

 

This is Didymus.

He is my sister's kitten. He's growing so fast. It's unbelievable. He always purrs when I hold him and I miss that. When I get all stressed out I just want to hold him but he's five hours away. 

I make my parents send me pictures and videos of him because he is so cute man.

I do not understand why there are people that don't like cats. HOW? How can you not like cats? How is that even possible? 

My other cat's name is Otis. He is my cat. He acts like a teenager. He hates being around people for long periods of time and only likes you when you feed him. When he shows me affection I freak because I love it so much. 

He never does it though.

I would definitely be a cat lady if it wasn't for Kyle....

Hi, My Name is Sami and I'm Addicted to Netflix

I think I've been watching Netflix more than anything else.

I probably shouldn't.

I should study more or maybe I should do extra homework.

But here I am, watching Netflix. A whole lot of Netflix.

Mostly entire televisions series’ in two to three nights.

New Girl and Raising Hope lately.

I  also should be hanging out with people. At least making friends but no.

I tend to be a computer using, complete loner. I've been like that for years. I started using computers when I was three. That’s pretty bad honestly. Even for my generation that is bad.

I really need to avoid changing topics all over the place. But I do have a slight excuse I mean at least I can use this card once. I’m completely out of my ADHD medicine officially.

I’m just going to go now…

Going Home

I got the chance to finally go home this weekend.
My birthday was Friday. I turned 19.
I got to see my kitties! That was my favorite part honestly.
I also got to see my parents, my sister, and my best friend.
I miss them already. It's so strange living five hours away from home.
I just can't wait to see my family again.
On Saturday we had my birthday party. It's pretty much an annual weenie roast at my aunt's house. I got a dairy queen cake and it was amazing. I also got to spend time with Chancey. She is my best friend and she has been since we were so small. Pre-school really. She and I went to a place called Best Buffet. It's a Chinese buffet and honestly I only eat American food there. It's just something Chancey and I have always done. It's her very favorite place so I thought that would be the best place to go. I also got to spend time with my sister. At one point we listened to a pod cast called Mysterious Universe. It is amazing. I love it so much. If you have any interest in creepy things like paranormal kind of things you should check it out.

I think next time I'm going to talk about stuff like that. It's probably easiest for me to talk about that because I'm just so interested.

My Seventh Post

I must be extremely dumb because I can never tell when someone is joking.
Seriously.
Ask anyone.
Anyway, I thought I would get my seventh post out of the way waaaay before Friday because I need to work my butt off on my Comp assignment.
I'm so scared so I'm going to the writing center sometime and working on it with Kyle. I also have to take a math paper quiz and I've recently noticed that just because I completely understand it in class doesn't mean I will understand the homework.
I am not doing to well. I plan to get a tutor.
Thank the Lord my school has free resources like those.
I just have a huge load on me this week.
I have to study for a test, study for another test, take a quiz, write a paper, give a speech. That's probably not even the end of it.
It's also my birthday week.
At least this weekend I get to see my parents, sister, best friends, and cats. Really though. I'm not gonna lie, I'm most excited about the cats.
I think I'm going to video blog at home. I can use my flip vid. I haven't for a very long time. I miss it really.
At least some things are going well.

The Zodiac

Hello all.
I'm posting again for the third day in a row.
Recently I watched The Zodiac and it just made me think a lot.
I mean how crazy is it that they still don't have any hard evidence?
And there is only one cipher that has been solved.
What if the killer wasn't the man they thought? What if the real killer was just very very smart? What if he framed that man? Obviously the guy was smart. What if he just decided to stop everything once the suspect died? What if the real zodiac killer is still alive? What if he just doesn't kill anymore? Just a lot of what ifs that are so interesting.
Things like that really get me thinking.

No Life

Hello.
It's only a day since I last posted but I need to get seven posts done by Friday.
I did laundry successfully today.
I wrote my outline for Comp.
I also finished my speech outline.
Now I have to write it on note cards.
It's really hard when you like to be at home or by yourself and you have homework but you also need to have a social life.

And now my boyfriend says he can't take me home next weekend.
I'm really home sick right now and it's my birthday next weekend.
Ugh.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I need to come up with things to actually talk about.
Things that are interesting.

Friday

It's Friday. I'm tired. I'm nervous.
Yeah...

My mom fixed everything with my medicine. Thank God for mothers.

Today I had my first job interview. It was for the Head Start Center in town. For those of you who don't know, head start is a pre school program. I was so nervous and I think I overdressed. I wore a cute dress but when I got in there , the interviewer was wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

I keep getting stressed out because I have to finish my speech outline and finish my outline for comp 1. I'm so bad at writing. Well at least I think I am. I have been told that I'm not but still.

I've been watching netflix lately. A whole shit ton of netflix. But I mean that is the definition of a college student right?

I don't have much to say really. I've been trying to think more about writing and things but I keep forgetting that this is for a grade too.

School stress man.

A Whole Lot More and a Whole Lot of Suck

So I was thinking and I have to post blogs a lot more than what I had planned. We have to have a total of seven done by I'm pretty sure he said...Oh that's my birthday....So I think he said by the Friday after this Friday.

Bleh.

So today I started to feel overwhelmed. I haven't gone up and talked to any of my professors yet but I haven't really felt a need to...yet. I'm scared that I'm doing something wrong. Classes are awesome but I'm never told when I have to do something and yes I know that's how college works but I have a bigger problem.

I have ADHD...the inattentive type which, as you might think, is basically the same thing as ADD. The problem is that being in college not very many doctors like to prescribe my medicine to me. I still have some left for this month but I have to find a doctor quick. I keep freaking out about the fact that in Missouri I do not have insurance. I have insurance at home. Five hours away. Even the closest city in Illinois is 4 hours away. I can't get what I need. I'm not wanting to miss any classes but it looks like I'll have to. But that also means my boyfriend (the only one who has a car out of the two of us) would have to take me. He would have to miss class and I don't think it's excused when you "have to take your girlfriend to the doctor four hours away. I only really know that I need my medicine so badly because I had so much trouble in school even though I was on it. When I didn't have my medicine it was like I was a zombie. I couldn't understand anything. I felt like I was drowning in words that were all around me. I'm more frightened right now than I ever thought I would be. I can't fail. I can't do a bad job. People have told me that I should have tried to learn ways to cope with it. I don't think they fully understand.

Yes some people can cope with having adhd and not having their medicine. Now don't get mad at me for saying this it is just an opinion but...Wouldn't the people who cope without medicine be the reason that adhd is over diagnosed? Actually more like they are the product of the over diagnosing. I literally can not function the way an average person functions without taking my medicine.

I just wish there was a way to fix this.

Labor Day Weekend

Hello anyone who happens to be reading this!

It's Labor Day weekend....that means no one is here.

Well barely anyone is here.

I wasn't quite sure what to talk about today until well yesterday. Here is the story okay.

I was lying in bed watching Law and Order SVU, wearing my pj's, and just spending time winding down.
I heard this really loud "WOOOOO" in the hallway. Now being in college and in a dorm, I just thought it was someone being obnoxious. But then I heard it again so I opened my door. What I heard was "There is an emergency. All occupants must vacate the building." I think I had a heart attack. Oh my gosh. I was freaking out. I grabbed my keys, phone, and shoes, and I ran out the door. Well walked really fast. I went straight to the staircase and joined the other students on our way out of the building. While we were going down the stairs it smelled like food. (Trust me that's not just useless knowledge.) I was outside standing with a couple of girls who live on my floor when we were told to go to the parking lot. That's what freaked me out really. I mean if it wasn't real and just a drill I don't think they would have done that. But still there were doubts. I overheard one girl say there might have been a fire in the building next to ours but I wasn't sure. While we were out there I noticed there was a guy in just a towel and had shaving cream on and just wow seriously that would suck. That would really suck. When we were allowed back in the building I overheard a building staff member say that there was a microwave fire. 

Well that was the highlight of the evening really. 

Today I did laundry for like an hour and a half. The exciting life of a college student you know. 

I'll tell you if anything interesting happens. Or maybe I'll start thinking a lot. Who knows. 

The Beginning

Hello to anyone that comes across this blog. 

Today was my third day of college.

I know a strange day to start writing this but I was thinking "hey I'll make a post on Wednesdays and Saturdays." So here I am.

Of course this wasn't necessarily of my own free will...it's for my English class. The thing is I really like blogging. I like talking about anything and everything. I'm just a talker. It's as simple as that.  

So with that being said I'm going to talk about the past few days, my professors, and the people I've had the pleasure of talking to. 

First of all my school has a program called "Advantage." Advantage is a freshman orientation program. I did not just start classes on Monday. Advantage went on for four days and on Monday classes started for everyone on campus. During advantage freshmen have a class called "freshman seminar." Now this class isn't only in advantage, we also have it for the rest of the trimester, but it is the only class we take during those four days.  My professor for that class has probably the most average name I have ever heard. Matthew Johnson. Seriously. I'm not making this up. He is pretty nice and such but nothing about him really stood out to me. In that class I met a lot of people. A few that I talk to. I don't have anyone's number but some have mine...but no texts or anything....I'm not going to dwell on that. My roommate is extremely nice and easy to get along with so that's great.

On Monday I just about had a panic attack. I was freaking out and pacing in my dorm room. The first class of the day happened to be at 11 practically all the way across campus. My English class. I feel the urge to put this disclaimer because I feel like it will sound like I'm sucking up but no I am not sucking up in any way. I'm just saying how I feel/felt. I seriously love my English professor. I can tell that I will never have any problems approaching him. He reminds me a lot of my sister. They seem to like the same things. I haven't found out if he likes David Bowie yet and the story behind this statement is for another day entirely. I really got off track okay. My second class was Fundamentals of Math. Math for basically first through sixth grades. If it isn't obvious now I am an elementary education major. I love my professor. She is really easy to get involved with...That probably sounded weird...I mean I can speak up in her class. I need to be able to do that. It's just important to me. My third class was Geography. A packed class with no open seats and probably about 60 students. Not at all what I'm used to. I don't like the size at all. From what I can tell I do like the professor. He's very...strange I guess. I mean that in the best way possible. The next class after that is in the fine arts building. A very very far distance. On the way there I met a girl who has geography and enjoyment of music (my next class) with me. We decided we should be late buddies because if one of us is going to be late might as well be late together. I talked to her for a long time. Her major is elementary ed and special education. I also found out other details maybe I should ask her before I put them online...Anyway that was my Monday. Every class right in a row. 

Tuesdays are very kind to me. I only have two classes. One of them is freshman seminar so I don't even need to talk about that and the other is speech basically. I'm really nervous. I'm not a good speaker. I mean I am but I'm not. Not when I've practiced it. It really should be the other way around....but it isn't. Luckily my professor is pretty much awesome from what I can tell. So I plan on working with him a lot...a lot a lot. 

I think this is where I will conclude my first blog post...well for classes. 

Until Saturday you can find me on tumblr. I spend my free time socializing on the internet really...Maybe that's bad...okay