A Whole Lot More and a Whole Lot of Suck

So I was thinking and I have to post blogs a lot more than what I had planned. We have to have a total of seven done by I'm pretty sure he said...Oh that's my birthday....So I think he said by the Friday after this Friday.

Bleh.

So today I started to feel overwhelmed. I haven't gone up and talked to any of my professors yet but I haven't really felt a need to...yet. I'm scared that I'm doing something wrong. Classes are awesome but I'm never told when I have to do something and yes I know that's how college works but I have a bigger problem.

I have ADHD...the inattentive type which, as you might think, is basically the same thing as ADD. The problem is that being in college not very many doctors like to prescribe my medicine to me. I still have some left for this month but I have to find a doctor quick. I keep freaking out about the fact that in Missouri I do not have insurance. I have insurance at home. Five hours away. Even the closest city in Illinois is 4 hours away. I can't get what I need. I'm not wanting to miss any classes but it looks like I'll have to. But that also means my boyfriend (the only one who has a car out of the two of us) would have to take me. He would have to miss class and I don't think it's excused when you "have to take your girlfriend to the doctor four hours away. I only really know that I need my medicine so badly because I had so much trouble in school even though I was on it. When I didn't have my medicine it was like I was a zombie. I couldn't understand anything. I felt like I was drowning in words that were all around me. I'm more frightened right now than I ever thought I would be. I can't fail. I can't do a bad job. People have told me that I should have tried to learn ways to cope with it. I don't think they fully understand.

Yes some people can cope with having adhd and not having their medicine. Now don't get mad at me for saying this it is just an opinion but...Wouldn't the people who cope without medicine be the reason that adhd is over diagnosed? Actually more like they are the product of the over diagnosing. I literally can not function the way an average person functions without taking my medicine.

I just wish there was a way to fix this.